Does the child beat ?
no secret that children are sometimes intolerable: their mischief, whims and disobedience can bring to the white heat of even the most unflappable parents.And spank mischievous seems the only way out in this situation.How to be in this case: whether the baby beat for bad behavior, or choose another method of exposure?On whether it is possible to use physical methods of punishment and how it will affect the child's development, we will discuss today.
Can beat children?
It would seem that the punishment of children - a private matter of parents, and the right to decide whether a child is to beat them.However, modern moral and legal laws do not agree with this statement.However, it was not always.
Physical punishment in the history
More 18-19 centuries to treat children so severely that the parents and teachers are not even standing question about the fact whether it is possible to beat children?From the standpoint of modern man, the children then simply tortured!This could flog a child and a teacher at the school, the church and the clergy, and even strangers - just by right of seniority.Such manners prevailed in Russia, and in the UK and America.In Greece, for example, and all wisdom that a child can only learn the lesson through the skin, so the rods in schools flogged mercilessly.
children can beat Which countries?
Nowadays the situation has changed, and now the physical punishment of children is almost universally condemned.In Europe and most American states parents who beat children, waiting for big trouble, up to criminal prosecution.In some eastern countries, where there is the cult of honoring parents, is still practiced corporal punishment.But they tend to be limited to religious traditions, that is, it does not mean that you can beat the children for any fault - there is a whole set of rules in which cases can be used corporal punishment.Such rules have, for example, in the Jewish religion.
Russia as being between east and west, to the end of undecided on this issue.According to the surveys of sociologists, most of our families, smashing the child by the pope - the most common form of punishment.Meanwhile, psychologists and educators say that children can not be beat.
Why can not hit children?
Psychologists proved that when a child is beaten, he is not corrected, and starts to feel sorry for yourself, lose the ability to trust adults who feels loved enough.From this, he starts to behave even worse, and slap it even more often.It turns out a vicious circle, which deprives the child's self-esteem.And yet, a child who is beaten understands:
- that humiliate and beat the weak as possible;
- that adults are powerless against overindulgence of children;
- that the use of force - the best means of resolving the conflict;
- that parents need to fear.
In addition, it is proved that violence retards the development of the child, as well as the impact on his mental health in the future.For example, a psychosexual deviation in adults as masochism, formed due to the fact that in the subconscious of the child beating and humiliation is strongly associated with a sense of parental care.This is more exposed to the boys and girls of parents who sought the power of the perfect obedience grow women who can not resist the violence, which choose their husbands despots, perhaps, this is a serious argument in a conversation about why you can not beat the children.
How to beat a child?
It also happens that the parents know it's wrong, but still beat the child - what to do in this case?It is no secret that often beat the children those parents who are themselves often beaten as a child, because they do not know other methods of education.Therefore, if you are too hot-tempered and do not know how to deal with his own annoyance - refer to the family psychologist, without waiting for the tragic consequences.
When you can beat the kids?
may be justified Despite all of the above, sometimes physical effects on varmint.It is, of course, is not about to hit the baby on the ass with a belt.Sometimes, psychologists recommend the use of a sharp slap, not painful, but more offensive.This "shock therapy" to help a child who is so spoiled that does not respond to any comments (such outbreaks are sometimes inappropriate behavior in children during the crisis of the third year of life).Spank the child can only under the following conditions:
- If punishment was preceded by many and quiet warning.
- If this is not slap the child's place.
- If this is not an attempt to take the child to "nerves", anger, bad mood and well-being.
- If a situation in which account for hitting a child, are extremely rare.
Parents need to remember that they are the creators of the child's personality!From the words and behavior of adults depends largely, the future lives of the children.Be patient, and your child will grow a good, healthy and, most importantly, a happy man.