How to improve relations ?
Every person throughout life pass by scandals and quarrels with other people, and in the end the relationship with a particular person may be completely ruined.At work, we are not satisfied with the behavior of the authorities, we fight at home with loved ones, and all of this is converted into a vicious circle from which escape is difficult.There may come a time when there will be nothing inside except resentment and despair, and the person begins to feel sorry for yourself.
How to learn to find common ground with others, to smooth out the sharp moments in a conversation and build a relationship with people and whether it is at all possible?Of course available.
How to avoid an argument
Psychologists say that it is much easier to maintain a good relationship with someone, you try to restore the lost.The following are some rules to help you learn to find common ground with others.
The world around us is very versatile, however, as the people who inhabit it, and this fact can only understand and accept.Each individual has his own view of things, everyone has their own preference and character, desires and dreams.If you as a child dreamed of becoming a doctor, it does not mean that your child wants.So, the first rule, which should be observed: all people are different, and do not need to try to change them, imposing their own standards.Take them for what they are.
If you do not know how to build relationships, you must first understand for yourself, for what you fight or argue.idealization -
extremely important definition was introduced by one of the psychologists.This is a phenomenon in which a person gives a certain belief or idea is too important, and if the idea does not get enough attention, the man catches up with the mass of negative feelings.
For example, some women have created a stereotype of a man who has to be compelling, and provided generous.And when a couple going through a love of the woman begins to require compliance with the men of the very stereotype, which, of course, leads to discord.
To avoid this you must:
- Try not match build any idealizations
- try to understand and forgive the man whose views with yours, and this is perhaps the most difficult.
necessary to appreciate a trusting relationship with someone else.In the case of an argument does not need to be upset, and you need to understand why it happened, having analyzed the situation.
Another good way to avoid quarrels and conflicts - the correct position in life.Think of your life as a game.I sincerely rejoice in victory, and do not be discouraged when setbacks, because they are temporary.When someone tells you something not too pleasant, imagine that you are watching a movie in which the person plays a role, and said do not take seriously.
How to reconcile
What to do if it fails to prevent conflict, and how to establish a relationship with a friend or partner in life?
should be understood that no one is immune from the crisis in a relationship with someone else, and the main thing is to identify the cause of the argument that in the future will allow to avoid any conflict or successfully build relationships.We need to clearly realize that after any troubles should be followed by reconciliation, and it is impossible to postpone a solution indefinitely.
Here are a few tips that will help to improve relations:
- Learn to identify the cause of the problem.Depending on the severity of the problem you will need to spend a different amount of effort to restore the old relationship.
- For example, there was a conflict in the family for trifling matter, and after a while it will not focus on the subject of the quarrel.The couple will start to sort things out among themselves.Most often, such conflicts are resolved fairly quickly, and there is no need to make great efforts to understand how to improve relations in the family.
- If the cause of the disorder is more serious, you can not waste time.Act rationally.Decide what you want to receive as a result of the conflict, what we are willing to sacrifice, and that is to understand your opponent.
- In no case can not be angry.Avoid phrases spoken rashly and beats weaknesses.It only exacerbate the situation.
- undesirable to impose any conditions and ultimatums during the conversation.When inept handling such tactics lead to a collapse in relations.
- Avoid tantrums.Tears, of course, have a strong influence on people, but over time, if it comes to spouses, this technique is ineffective, and even on the contrary, worsen the situation.
- not insult each other.If you allow yourself to quit insulting phrase towards your friend or loved one the more likely that you will hear a similar response.
Be a diplomat.Refrain from quoting offensive words that you loved one said.It is better to say: "It hurts me to hear from you like that."Also use the phrase:
- I understand you, but ...
- I respect your opinion, but ...
- will be better for both of us if ...
data show patterns that you are willing to engage in dialogue.If you put in the unacceptable framework agree with the opponent, but in response to pull out their terms.Thus, both sides will have to compromise to restore peaceful relations.
Sometimes it happens that people do not talk to each other for weeks after an acute conflict, and it is quite an unpleasant situation.As a rule, women are kept longer.Men usually do not withstand such a long silence, and ready to take on any guilt and make the most insane action for the sake of reconciliation.That's just this lost battle, they will remember for a long time, and as soon as possible try to win.
Whether you consider yourself right or wrong the first to take the initiative, and the sooner you understand how to build relationships with people.